Just chillin at home...

We are so busy. The weeks that the kids are with us are the happiest and most hectic of them all and everyday it is a miracle we can coordinate how to get everything accomplished that is on the docket for the day. An average school day consists of either Mistie or I waking up and getting the middle schoolers from our home in N.W. Boise to Meridian Middle school by 7:30AM... then back home while the other parent is home getting the the two elementary schoolers ready for the day. Then again Mistie or I running the two little guys to their school back in Meridian again by 9:00AM. Once that is accomplished getting our collective adult selves to work and school is next on the agenda. After Mistie is out of class she rushes back to Meridian to pick up little guy from Kindergarten around noon. Then she runs to meetings or activist stuff (yes that is the technical term I use for it) and continues on with the day. Around 3:45PM Mistie or I (depending on my work schedule) go pick up the rest of the kids and get them home for the rest of the day.

We have a pretty good routine down but just the essence of how much travel/running around we have to do during the week makes us cherish the weekends where running around from here to there is not required. IN FACT WE DREAM ABOUT SUCH WEEKENDS:)

Today is one of those days. Days like this I love to just sit back and soak in how amazing our little/big family is. I am working on laundry while Mistie works on homework. The kids are happy just hanging out doing all of the things that make them individuals yet bond them together too.

Connor- Age 14 (almost 15) has been busy tuning his guitar and practicing his tunes. A little while later he picks up the remote for the NBA video game he loves and plays 1 game of Bulls vs. Hawks. He picks on his little brothers and torments his little sister so all is normal today:)

Quinncy- Age 12 (almost 30) has been busy texting her friends, listening to music, trying on her new clothes and hanging in her room (cleaning it...kind of at her mom's urging). Now she is doing a craft and using her very creative mind to make something cool! She picks on her little brothers and torments her older brother so all is normal today:)

Eligh- Age 10 (almost 11) has been creating an art drawing on the computer, then singing a song, then climbing up on the plant shelf in the kitchen to do a stealth mission of spying on all of us. He is bossing around his little brother and annoying his older brother and sister (since it is rare for Eligh to not be talking about something) so all is normal today:)

Sawyer-Age 6 is busy playing Playhouse Disney, building a fort with his legos, making mom and I craft out of all sorts of different art supplies and petting Mulder (the big chocolate lab that adores him). He is busy annoying his older siblings so all is normal today:)

These kids love each other and they love thier Mom so very much! They are adventurous, creative, smart, hilarious, loving and unique! Just hanging out with them makes me happy and gives me the best perspective on what really matters in this world. It also makes their mother and I work even harder everyday to make this a better world for them to live in.

Until next time...

Hugs,

Bonus Mom

Here are a few pics from recent fun times for your enjoyment:)

Starting Over

In an attempt to keep up on my 2012 resolutions I am tackling #3 on my list... keep up with the Blogging! It has been almost 6 months since the Bonus Mom blog and tonight I aim to correct this grievous error. OK maybe its not that bad but it is something I want to do.

The holidays are over and as always there was no shortage of busyness in our home. Holiday movies were watched, cookies decorated, our own family movies made, friends visited, family meals enjoyed, shopping tackled, stockings hung and of course presents opened. Our little big family was so blessed! We grew closer together and loved each other through it all. Now we are all settling in to the back to school hustle and bustle. And although this is our reality we all hold on to the feelings of togetherness that the holiday season brings.

I will post some pics soon.

Till then...

Love,

Bonus Mom

A tough week...

This week was a tough one. I was having some major emotional issues, dealing with jealousy and doubt. It was one of those times in my life when I couldn't be honest with myself or with Mistie about what I needed and it was showing through to the kids. I made them worry. Worry about there own security of what our family has become.

This is not new... I have seen this pattern in them before. The looks of concern... When either Mistie or I struggle to keep our emotions in check. I have always known that children are super perceptive but children of divorce are double perceptive. They notice every look every word every frown. And they try to protect. They offer Love and hugs to make it all go away. And even when I though I had myself back together the questions of what is wrong still linger in there minds.

Being a bonus mom is the most important job I have ever taken on in my entire life. I feel it is my responsibility as a parent to protect my step kids from as much of this cruel world as possible. I would do anything in my power to save them from heart ache and pain. But I also know I am not a robot... and that sometimes life will throw curveballs at me that smack me right between the eyes. When these bumps in the road come I want to show the kids that we as adults can go through tough things and come out better on the other side. They can learn valuable lessons from seeing adults work out their problems and move on back to the normal happiness of life.

I will forever be changed by these 4 wonderful, loving, caring, and thoughtful kids. Connor, Quinncy, Eligh and Sawyer I love you!

Till next time...

The first I love you...

As I have traveled this journey into Bonus motherhood I have had a few moments come along that I will never forget. I am sure all mothers remember the first time their child says Momma or tells them I love you, and for me I have had those moments too. For me though... they were unexpected and moving in ways I will never forget. Here is one of those times...


Last summer I had been over to Mistie's apartment one evening for a BBQ and a long evening of playing in the pool with the kids. The kids and I must have played "who can do a hand stand and hold their breath for the longest" at least 40 times... and I am certain Connor dunked me at least 10 times too. We had swimming contest after swimming contest until the pool closed forcing us to stop our water world adventure. After we dried all of the evidence of our fun off with the big beach towels the kids begged me to sleep over for a big slumber party in the living room. I had to work the next morning but thought... let's do this... it's summer and I can handle it:) We pulled out all of the blankets and sleeping bags we could find and put on a movie to fall asleep to. The next morning I woke to my alarm so I could have enough time to get back to my house... shower and still get to work on time. I was trying very hard to quietly slip out the door so that no one would be bothered from their peaceful sleep but sure enough I woke Soy boy. I closed the door behind me and scurried off down the stairs to my car but as I rounded the first turn to the second flight of stairs I heard Soy calling my name. He shouts down the stair case "Karen, Karen wait." "What is it Soy," I asked? He said..."Oh I just wanted to say I love you and have a good day!" Oh how my heart filled with joy... I am sure I told him that I loved him too and continued on my path to work... but all I can remember are those words coming out of his mouth and traveling into my ears and changing my life for ever.


This is just one of the many Bonus Mom memories that have been burned into my soul. I cant wait to share more next time.
Until then...
Love,

Bonus Mom

My life just over a year ago...

Just a little over a year ago my life was absent of children. My entire adult life had consisted of being in a family with no grand kids or nieces and nephews around. I had no children of my own... my only sibling had no children and I had very few friends that had kids. I had always wanted to have kids but my reality was that it probably was not in the cards for me. Approaching 39 I had given up on having children of my own and was left to hope kids would be in my life in another way. Then I fell head over heals in love with a mother of 4! Wow... my quiet adult filled life was turned upside down.

This blog is an attempt to archive my adventures with Con, Q, EJ and Soy. They have changed my life in ways that I have no words for. Loving their Mom and then becoming their Bonus Mom has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. All of us started out as friends... and with time and lots of learning and loving we are now a family... No matter what the world or nay saying people may try to tell us... we are!

I hope this blog will be a historical recording that the kids and I can always look back on to see the good and bad times... to see growth and hope and love and life as it really was. And if you decide to follow us in our journey... well strap on your seat belt cause its gonna be a fun ride.

Until next time...

Love,

Bonus Mom